love Funny Status Messages

   There is a thin line between love and hate. It starts about halfway through the joint.

   I love watching my husband sleep so peacefully. It gives me time to plot all the ways I can take him out should the time come someday.

   It's hard to pretend you love someone when you don't, but it's harder to pretend you don't love someone when you really do.

   I'll know love when I see it. That's why I refuse to get corrective lenses.

   I'll never forget the first time my son said "I love you, Dad!" He was talking to the mailman, BUT how cute is that?

   practicing my "I Love It" look when I get another tie from my kids.

   I love it when I go see my parents for the first time in a while and after "hello" comes "good thing you came, my printer is broken".

   I love doggie style as much as the next guy, but sometimes she's just too pretty to do from behind.

   Right all wrongs. Settle everything with love and understanding.

   She says I am her one and only love, but she has a whole photo album dedicated to Brad Pitt while my single pic on her page is languishing under wall pictures.

   Let's stop the hate and spread the love. Or STD's, as my doctor says they are 'technically' named.

   Dear U.S. Congress and Justice Department. How much body armor for our military troops could have been purchased with the $3 million of taxpayer money wasted on investigating and prosecuting a washed-up old ballplayer? Love, (fill-in your name)

   Besides falling in love. What other hobbies do you have?

   i love updating my status while dri

   Sometimes, when two people love each other very much, they get married and ruin everything.

   From now I'm going to on Craigslist to try finding love. Or at least a free mattress with questionable stains to cry myself to sleep on.

   tis the month of graduations... and they STILL refuse to take my Star Wars graduation theme idea. Jedi robes instead of gowns, lightsabers... and I would LOVE to attend a Chewbaccalaureate service!

   As I caress your firm roundness with my hands and press my face into your pink flesh your sweet juices run down my face. I love watermelon!!

   Relationships must be chosen wisely. It's better to be alone than to be in bad company. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.'Fall in love when you're ready,not when you're

   Every time I say stop, an epic battle takes place in my head where I decide whether to follow it with "in the name of love" or "hammertime."