BEGO Funny Status Messages

   The number one rule in life "stay in your own lane "and there won't be any accidents.

   Fighting fire with fire only gives you ashes.

   Alcohol doesn't cause Hangovers...Waking up does...

   Quick question, Ladies, If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the f$ck are you doing?

   She said "Every Kiss begins with K", I said "To bad Ugly begins with U"

   In your bed: it's 6:00, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 7:45. At school: it's 1:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it's 1:31.

   Who else backspaces their whole password, even if only one letter is wrong?

   Kids are ridiculous these days, when we were young, we took spelling tests, not pregnancy tests.

   Mark Zuckerberg got married today. His new wife set her relationship status to "CHA-CHING!!"

   Any dude who waits for Valentines Day to treat his woman like a Queen is failing 364 days a year.

   There's no need to rush. If something's meant to be, it'll happen in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.

   Wake up!” Me: (~_~) (-_-) (o_-) (-_o) (>_<) (o_O) (o_o)

   FACT: No chick has ever been laid in the back of a PT cruiser . Look it up on Wikipedia.

   Everybody hates that as$hole that takes 5 minutes to back into a parking spot.

   The only time I ever drink ginger ale is on a plane. WTF is up with that?

   This lady on the highway is driving like a maniac & she has kids in the car. Lady I'm not following you. I want to watch Ice Age too.

   I can't believe I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

   You never fully realize how terrible your toothbrush is until you get a new one.

   Thank you for your payment, I'm going to give you a confirmation number." "Cool, I'm going to pretend I'm writing it down.

   We live in a time period of smart phones and stupid people.