Bego Funny Status Messages

   Facing your problems is like facing a bull...either take them by the horns, or run like hell.

   You don't have to be perfect to be useful....the rusty nail still holds the roof on.

   When you hear people speak in another language: 6% I wish I could speak that. 94% Those b**ches better not be talking about me...

   A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.

   I will stop drinking when a mute guy tells a deaf guy that a blind guy saw a legless guy walk on water. Get the hint?

   I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done, so now I just have to fill in the rest.

   Today, we celebrate to all the chicks that said "leave it in"

   I text my Ex yesterday and she didn't text back..Obviously she passed out of excitement!

   I hate when cashiers ask "Is that everything?" Uh no B$tch, I'd also like all this invisible sh$t...

   99% of girls are hot. The other 1% go to my school.

   You know your a$s is ugly when you're the one always asked to take the photo.

   Damn.. who isn't pregnant...?

   Oh, you're a model? What's your agency? Instagram

   If I had $100 for every time I read something interesting on my Facebook feed, I'd be very poor.

   I'm not calling you an idiot, but I wouldn't be surprised if you have googled "how to breathe."

   The look on the cashiers face when a fat girl purchases leggings.

   Hey, if you stay really quiet and listen very, very closely, You can hear the beautiful sound of you shutting the f$ck up.

   To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1. You tried your best. 2. I don't like onions on my Big Mac.

   Facebook would be much more interesting if they let you decide, which part of the body you wanna Poke.

   I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.