fadolo Funny Status Messages

   The Allstate guy doesn't count as a black friend.

   íts funnч hσw whєn ím σn thє phσnє í wαndєr tσ plαcєs ín mч hσusє í nєvєr gσ.

   Before you try to change others, remember how hard it is to change yourself.

   What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spit, swallow, and gargle.

   -Thinking about the time I got head so good I drooled in her hair by mistake o.0

   I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.. do they just give you a bra and say, "here fill this out"..?

   Happy Friday dance ‎(((( ( • why • ) )))) shake'em

   If anybody slips and falls down at mid field in the second half I'm blaming the sweat that dripped from Madonna's vag.

   Girl's idea of Valentine's Day. (っ˘з(˘.˘ )♥ Guy's idea of Valentine's Day ( • )( •ԅ(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

   Some families argue over pizza toppings. We argue over who's gunna keester a balloon of dope for my Aunt when we visit her in Jail tomorrow.

   If you don't use 1:11, 2:22 or 3:33 when starting the microwave you have yet to unlock my level of laziness.

   RIP to the millions of people who die every day and don't get recognized

   I mean, we all grieve in our own ways. She chose to listen to The Bodyguard soundtrack all night. I chose $1,100 worth of lap dances.

   I could have lived forever without knowing grandpa had a 'dong down to his knees' but thanks for the visual grandma.

   My wife's always walking into things and getting hurt. Yesterday it was our bedroom while I was fu*king her sister.

   Who let Tony Bennett out of the nursing home?

   Paul McCartney looks like my uncle Fred after a 12 pack.

   I think I'd rather hear gunshots coming from my parents bedroom than hear one more second of Chris Brown tonight.

   Last night my wife and I had a dinner party. About Halfway through it, I decided to walk the dog. My wife went mental and told me to grow up and stop doing tricks with my yoyo.

   That moment of epic sadness when you shut down the computer and then you realize that you need it again.