Jitney Funny Status Messages

   Who else proofread something after they posted? Oh so I'm the only one......

   I hate it when the cashier asks me a stupid question like. "Are you buying all of these?", "No B!@tch!!, I'm stealing, just wanted to show you first!"

   Finally got a kiss at my favorite spot......Thanks Herseys!

   I hate when I'm at a restaurant, and they ask me, "Would you like a table?" , "No not all all, I came here to eat on the floor B!@tch!!!"....."Carpet for 3 Please!

   Spiderman isnt the only one that gets sticky hands after using the Web all day...... If you know what I mean ;)

   Kayne West....made a song about Gold Diggers and now wants to marry Kim kardashian

   Today at work the Boss asks me to start my presentation with a joke, On the 1st slide was a copy of my paycheck!!

   Dr. Ruth, the world renowned sex doctor says, dont focus on the sagging, or the belly fat, or the wobbly neck, focus on the sensation after the age of 50.

   Someone tell Doctor Ruth, pass the me the beer and alcohol!

   you can learn alot from health Channel news. Just found out teens are now smoking nutmeg spice, potpouri, and incense as a subtitute for weed. Wondering if there's a business opportunity here....

   tried to kill a spider by drowning it, but it looked at me and asked, "Where's the soap?"

   How about they make a film that makes these ppl give us free oil?

   Instead of thinking outside the box, why dont we get rid of the box?

   True Story: Seeing a car set on fire with no doors at 12 midnight outside your miami house window is a sure sign KuKluxKlan has been doing some recruiting.

   I met a Spanish man with a Rubber toe......his name was Roberto

   So did anybody catch X-factor? That BIG BIRD looking chick was singing , more like squacking! guess her future on the line too.

   What doesnt kill you......seriously disappoints me!

   Me and BIG BIRD, going down to Sesame Street to see if we can buy the moderate a lie detector.

   Its weird how Wall street was up and running like nothing happened, ....Oh my bad, I forgot....TeamRich&Wealthy with 2 or 3 homes flew or boated in to work.

   I know it Halloween and stuff, but A white bronco just pulled up and threw out 2 bodies and then sped off really fast.....(Ö_Ö) on the lawn