Goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   Hopefully Don Cornelius really is on the Soul Train to Heaven...

   Contrary to popular belief, "Puppy Pimps" is not a good name for a dog breeder.

   Why is it when I'm on my lunch break my wall is hella quiet. Then from 12:30 to 3:30 all sorts of drama happens...jerks, I wanna be in the loop!

   Hey toilette paper manufactures, you think you can make the last six sheets a courtesy red? Thanks

   Family Rule: Always give the first pancake to the person you dislike the most in your household.

   I need to get a gun rack for the work truck to hold two things important in my life right now...job prints and my fishing pole.

   In light of the higher gas prices, the rapper "Fifty-Cent" will now be known as 1/16th of a Gallon. That is all...

   Funny how some women will spend over a hundred dollars for products to clean their face, yet purchase the cheapest toilette paper to clean their A$$.

   Today is worse than the day my brothers broke my nose with their stupid football. RIP Davy- Marsha B

   When I'm the designated driver, I want to look cool ordering my drink. So I ask for a Jack and Dr. Pepper hold the Jack.

   I'm gon' do it, gon' do it Gon' do it, do it, do it

   I wish the string on my weedeater had a Hollywood clip.

   23% of households today have a "new" roll of toilette paper sitting on the empty roll.

   This day thirty years ago, I gave the old excuse "My underwear are!".

   Crushed ice, needs to be placed higher on a pedastool.

   (posted on my wife's wall this morning) Good morning Sunshine. You see that stack of bills on the counter? That's how many times I thought of you today...

   Today, I ask that everyone read my posts in the voice of Forrest Gump.

   Hey Janet Lehman, how about I send you MY program for free? It's called a BELT!! You're welcome

   Just nailed the "She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys.." part on Hotel California.....don't judge

   Kind of shocked more professional fisherman aren't driving metal flaked vehicles as well.