BEGO Funny Status Messages

   No matter how many times I've been done wrong, I'll continue to be faithful, honest, and loving; sooner or later someone will appreciate it.

   I will have my arms get ripped off before making another trip to the car after coming home from the grocery store.

   Here, let me tell you about a ton of opinionated bull$hit that's not actually news" - Every major news Channe

   If you remember the phrase "Yo Quero Taco Bell", you probably grew up in the 90's.

   I'm going to open a store next to FOREVER 21 and call it "FINALLY 22".....

   Do NOT lower your standards to "keep" anyone. Make them meet you at YOUR level. Self respect is power.

   Dear Websites that automatically play loud videos, thanks for trying to get me fired!

   You know you're awesome when Facebook suggests people you have already had sex with.

   When someone sends you a text that says “call me”. Why didn't you just damn call me?

   When I die I'm gonna become a ghost & watch attractive people shower.

   To the people who upload full movies to YouTube: Get a life...also, thank you.

   High schools shouldn't have school zones. If you can't cross the street by the time you're in HS you deserve to get hit.

   If I had a shot of whiskey for everytime I thought of you, I'd be sober.

   I don't trust anyone who chooses a side salad over french fries.

   Facebook: Helping you acknowledge the existence of people you had been successfully ignoring for years.

   Spend life with the people who make you happy, not the people who you have to impress.

   Young enough to know I can, old enough to know I shouldn't, stupid enough to do it anyway.

   I can't live without: ✔ Food ✔ Music ✔ Oxygen ✔ Water ✔ Internet ❒ You

   Dating your Ex again is like buying your clothes back from Goodwill. There's a reason you got rid of it in the first place.

   I have lived through death of Michael Jackson, first black president, Royal Wedding and Osama's death. My life's a fuc?ing history book.