Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon My parents were very inspirational, they used to say: “You can do whatever you want in life, as long as you don’t do it here.”
←Rate | 08-15-2022 16:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The 5 O'clock news. AKA let's see what the ηiqqers did now.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well…. It’s “we finally got Donald Trump day” again.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we have zero percent inflation, why do we need an Inflation Reduction Act?
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I prefer 11,000 Keystone XL pipeline workers over 87,000 new IRS agents.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A penny found is worth more than a penny earned, because a penny earned is taxed.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People that get, “the most votes in history” don’t raid their opponent’s homes. But election stealers do.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only adult knowledge that a third grader needs to know, is that girls/boys have cooties.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They got that $1,200. $600. And $1,400. Back in gas, food and rent.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s gonna be hilarious when the people who thought that Biden was going to forgive their student loans realize that he gave them a tax increase instead.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you happen to see an FBI agent wearing one of Melania’s dresses, post a photo of him.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, that way it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips.
←Rate | 08-15-2022 17:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who called it a pillow fight and not attack with a bedly weapon?
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dad had a good idea. Sometimes when cars drive by your house they honk at you. But you can’t respond. That’s where House Horn comes in
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I didn’t hear a word you just said-I was looking at your man bun and all I could think of was cinnamon rolls.
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess who I bumped into on the way to see my eye doctor? Everyone…
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor: I’ve increased the dosage of your medication Me: Why am I not surprised Doctor: That’s one of the side effects of the medication
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A group of guys with ponytails is called a flock of Steven Seagulls
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex is selling the vehicle I lost my virginity in. I really loved that skateboard.
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time my husband wakes me up to tell me I’m snoring we end up making love. I’m beginning to question whether or not I snore.
←Rate | 08-16-2022 07:35 Comments (0)  




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