Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6284 of 6411

My parents were very inspirational, they used to say: “You can do whatever you want in life, as long as you don’t do it here.”
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08-15-2022 16:58
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The 5 O'clock news. AKA let's see what the ηiqqers did now.
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08-15-2022 17:07
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Well…. It’s “we finally got Donald Trump day” again.
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08-15-2022 17:39
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If we have zero percent inflation, why do we need an Inflation Reduction Act?
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08-15-2022 17:39
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I prefer 11,000 Keystone XL pipeline workers over 87,000 new IRS agents.
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08-15-2022 17:40
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A penny found is worth more than a penny earned, because a penny earned is taxed.
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08-15-2022 17:40
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People that get, “the most votes in history” don’t raid their opponent’s homes. But election stealers do.
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08-15-2022 17:41
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The only adult knowledge that a third grader needs to know, is that girls/boys have cooties.
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08-15-2022 17:41
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They got that $1,200. $600. And $1,400. Back in gas, food and rent.
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08-15-2022 17:41
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It’s gonna be hilarious when the people who thought that Biden was going to forgive their student loans realize that he gave them a tax increase instead.
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08-15-2022 17:42
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If you happen to see an FBI agent wearing one of Melania’s dresses, post a photo of him.
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08-15-2022 17:43
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When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, that way it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips.
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08-15-2022 17:43
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Who called it a pillow fight and not attack with a bedly weapon?
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08-16-2022 07:29
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My dad had a good idea. Sometimes when cars drive by your house they honk at you. But you can’t respond. That’s where House Horn comes in
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08-16-2022 07:30
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Sorry I didn’t hear a word you just said-I was looking at your man bun and all I could think of was cinnamon rolls.
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08-16-2022 07:31
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Guess who I bumped into on the way to see my eye doctor? Everyone…
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08-16-2022 07:31
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Doctor: I’ve increased the dosage of your medication Me: Why am I not surprised Doctor: That’s one of the side effects of the medication
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08-16-2022 07:32
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A group of guys with ponytails is called a flock of Steven Seagulls
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08-16-2022 07:32
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My ex is selling the vehicle I lost my virginity in. I really loved that skateboard.
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08-16-2022 07:34
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Every time my husband wakes me up to tell me I’m snoring we end up making love. I’m beginning to question whether or not I snore.
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08-16-2022 07:35
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