Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Pros and cons of making kids. Pros: making, Cons: kids

   Monkeypox & the 11 people who still believe the media.

   When the internet collectively bullies the “Ministry of Truth” to the point it’s dissolved before even starting. I am so proud of this community.

   Foreign aid, taking money from poor people of a rich country and giving it to the rich people of a poor country.

   Disney’s favorability collapses from 77% to 33% in one year. Boom!

   Really miss the days when the biggest scandal was that Trump drank water with two hands and ate chicken with a fork.

   Whistleblower comes forward with claims that strangers drag him from place to place, make him sign papers, read words on monitors and he hardly gets any ice cream.

   Excuse me while I exponentially click like on my posts that I steaI.

   Rockville: A butt load of 3rd rate bands that would have never attained the low level of success they've achieved if it weren't for the internet.

   Remember this: Johnny Depp is a superior actor over Amber Heard. This also applies to courtroom direct and cross examinations.

   Anyone know when the monkeypox stimulus checks hit?

   Hold fast friends, the developmentally challenged cream puff would like to submit another unintelligible contribution.

   Please explain again your loathing for woman but want desperately to become one. We find you utterances disturbing yet intriguing.

   When you’re condemned daily, yet you continue because you’re as dense as a mud flap.

   Need some advice? Go read a book, read several, it’s free. You’re welcome.

   Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll try to use it.

   Got kicked out of the secret cooking society. I spilled the beans.

   6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.

   If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.

   A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is this stool taken?’