Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Hangry ~ A state of anger caused by lack of food.

   Love ~ Giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting them not to.

   LGBTQ: Liquor, Guns, Bacon, Tits and Quicksand.

   Have you ever been so mad that you were calm?

   The Poet: Why do you write? he asked. So, I can take my love for you and give it to the world, I reply. Because you won’t take it from me.

   Reach ~ as high as you can, and then a little higher. There you will find magic and possibility… and maybe even cookies.

   The same people who are candy to our eyes can be poison to our hearts. Study their ingredients before feeding them to your soul.

   Have you ever rubbed your eyes so hard that you enter in, to some other dimension of swirls and patterns?

   Just checking, I heard a loud pop and thought you may have pulled your head out of your a$$.

   There are only two genders, male and female. The rest are mental disorders.

   Stock trading secret: Pick a stock that you know is going to go up and buy a lot of it. Then watch the price go up every day until it gets as high as it's going to get. Then sell it all before it goes back down.

   With the shortage that's going on ..Are any of the pregnant men donating their breast milk? Or are they keeping it all for themselves,

   Back in my day they would cut cocaine with baby formula. Nowadays they cut baby formula with cocaine

   The closer the collapse of an empire, the crazier it’s laws.

   Soon, the public will be unable to think or reason for themselves. They’ll only be able to parrot the information that was given to them on the previous night’s news.

   Fact checkers: He didn’t say that, and if he did he didn’t mean it, and if he did you don’t understand it, and if you did it’s not a big deal, and if it is, it’s taken out of context, at least mean orange man gone.

   Welcome to Oregon, tampons are in every boy’s bathrooms.

   You get prosecuted for refusing to wear a mask on a plane, but they can intimidate supreme court justice’s families and will be celebrated. This is how you know we are living under a regime.

   Pink Floyd warned us about the school system over 50 years ago, and everyone slept on it.

   The only supply chain Biden won’t disrupt, the flow of drugs at our southern border.