moon Funny Status Messages

   I think I might have spent a quarter of my life just staring into the refrigerator.

   It's Sunny!! Which is kind of like a "It's snowing!" post, but better because it's sunny and not snowing.

   Dear Mark Zuckerberg, All I want for Christmas this year is fonts.

   Last year my New Year's resolution was to loss 30 lbs and now that we're about to ring in another New Year I'm happy to say that I've only got 40 more pounds to go!

   Just when I was getting use to writing 2019

   Time to lose a little weight from the holidays with my guaranteed to work weight loss program that's called "Log Out of Facebook"

   With the new year my plan is to conquer a mountain! also known as finish folding the clean cloths piling up on top of the dryer.

   Just cleaned out my friends list and for the first time in my life I finally know what they meant in Auld Lang Syne when they wrote "Should old acquaintances be forgot, and never brought to mind"

   I'm so old I remember when people the only people who took something off your porch were called milkmen.

   I'm so old I......just forgot what I was going to post?

   I'm tired of girlfriends treating me like a god, as in only call on me when they need something and ignore me the rest of the time.

   I'm so old when I was a kid the World Wide Web what is connected by a string, and two cups.

   I'm so old when I was a kid the World Wide Web was connected by a string, and two cups.

   I'm so old I remember when friends had to inviting you over if they wanted to share what they were having for dinner.

   Come join the world wide movement called "I pledge to bend over and pick up a random piece of garbage on the street or wherever I see it" movement. Like and share if you like to join!

   The problem with driving an old air-cooled Volkswagen bus is kids keep mistaking it as an ice cream truck, and the worst part is it's so slow they could almost catch you.

   Looking at my kitchen junk drawer I think I finally have enough miscellaneous things accumulated to build a spaceship to get off this rock!

   If you're alone and sad for Valentine's Day, to make you feel better just remember that for the love of a woman Saint Valentine was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs :-)

   ¡ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq I ǝɯᴉʇ ʇsɐl ǝɥʇ sᴉ sᴉɥʇ

   With Valentine's Day just around the corner if you're secretly in love with me and would like a candlelit dinner with flowers and candy, it's to late shell out all that money, but talk to me talk on the 15th and maybe next year.