l Funny Status Messages

   I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone

   Nobody is calling you man...TAKE THE FN BLUETOOTH OUT OF UR EAR

   Wait, I'm still looking for a duck to give ('-' ) (._. ) ( ._. ) ( '-' ) ( ._.) ( '-') ... Damn, looks like I can't find it ¯\(ツ)/¯

   Froget Punxsutawney, I'm predicting March 21st.

   Adam Sandler looks like Don Flamingo from Mike Tysons Punchout.

   If you have a problem with me, text me. If you don't have my number than that means you don't know me well enough to have a problem with me

   My mother taught me RELIGION. “You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

   I asked my mom what she wants for Mothersday smh she never changes she said "for you to eat your vegetables"

   mama gettin a lil out of control with this mothers day thing , she want me to rub her feet.

   thats weird?! all my mom wanted was cool whip for mothers day.

   You can't threaten me with Work when I came to Work.

   "Either Pray Or Worry, Don't Do Both"

   Valentines Day, Aint nobody got time for that!

   90% of the time I drop my IPhone because I wanna see a picture horizontal.

   Why do I have to add my birthday to your calendar? It's on my page.

   My brackets perfect so far, I fill it out after every game.

   If I ain't invited to dinner I could care less about what you made!

   I just bought a Birthday cake. It's not my Birthday, I just wanted cake.

   This status is dedicated to all the pretty girls and the ugly ones too cause to me your pretty anyway baby.

   Jason Collins needs a bubble bath