goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   When you live in the country as I do, the term "prosecuted" translates to "shot".

   What superpower would I want? The ability to know if the bite of food is rotten or moldy BEFORE I stick in my mouth and chew!

   So proud of my lil' hound dog. Taught Her to sit and lay down on command in less than five minutes. With treats of course. Just that much closer to the final lesson of Go fetch Daddy a beer!

   I guess I'm still butt-hurt over that bad call back in '83 during a game of dodgeball. That fricken Jenny Harden was out by a mile...

   This time of year makes me miss the two guys from the old Miller's Outpost commercials.

   Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?

   When first talking to your kids about Santa, don't say he's God's drunk brother in law. Trust me...

   I hate when I'm sitting on bleachers and Half my nutsack falls asleep!WTF

   So if I win the Mega Millions tonight, maybe I can move my name from my shirt to the front of the building at work ((fingers crossed)).

   Settling in for the night with a glass of orange juice and the Dukes of Hazzard.

   Every town has a "pink" house. Really, what the hell is up with that?!?

   "For the last time woman, it's an ACTION figure!!!"

   To the guy that just passed me with a "General Lee" car on his trailer, I HATE YOU!

   If I ever get caught soliciting a prostitute, I'm going to say "These aren't the droids I've been looking for!".

   Watching the Cowboys. The John Wayne ones, not the loosing ones.

   I BUY all my cassettes at truck stops. Suck it SOPA

   Twenty two seconds ago I wanted to punch you in the face...stupid commercial.

   Sorry Toby Keith. If they ever come out with a "Mossy Oak" design, your song about the "red" Solo cup is screwed!!!

   Heads up folks. Apparently the little AAA stickers don't count as "proof" of insurance. That is all...

   ...it's ok that it's not movie quality!.