fadolo Funny Status Messages

   Independent women throw your hands in the air!!!! Whooooooo! Ok now put your hands down and go do some dishes.

   I never banng a blakc chikk, not 'cause I'm rasis it's just that I'm more of a "run my fingers through her hair" kinda guy.

   The only thing more stressful than a blind date is meeting a new drug dealer for the first time.

   I'm a passionate man. I like some things and love others. Example: I like coming and I love leaving.

   ‎#<( '-'< ) I was going to give you this waffle, ( >'-' )># but then I was like, ( >'#'< ) I'm hungry ( >'-'< ) so I ate it."

   What food decreases a women's sex drive faster than anything else? Wedding cake

   Went over to my hippie neighbor's house and asked for a pot holder, and he came out with a sandwich bag. Note to self: New best friend

   If I ever run into Captian Crunch, I'm gonna punch him in the roof of his mouth.

   Like you've never tried using the Force to reach the remote.

   The most best things in life can't be seen or touched....at least that's what the restraining order says.

   that feeling of brotherhood when someone post the same status as you ,but know one like it cuz you posted it first

   getting stoned and trying to load the dishwasher is like real life Tetris.

   you know some fairy tales begin with “Once upon a time…” Others begin with “If elected, I promise…”

   Ladies, easy way to tell if a guy is married? Look into his eyes, if there is any sign of life left, he's single.

   I'm so pissed Michael Jackson never had a chance to molest Justin Bieber.

   In hindsight, allowing girls into our treehouse would have been a great idea.

   Sometimes I wish there was a 'Build-a-Girlfriend'.

   Every time I'm in line and someone is taking too long I look around and think "Is this where I wan't to start my mass murdering spree?"

   Being a nobody and getting your head pumped up by a bunch of other nobodys does NOT make you a somebody. 0 + 0 is still 0...Just FYI...

   My car runs on gas.. Not friendship. So pay the f*ck up.