Jitney Funny Status Messages

   Dear Customer Service: When are all of your representatives NOT assisting other callers?

   A Woman's Football League would only be interesting to me if its raining and the uniform are white.

   Dear paranoid ppl who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, if you do find one, what's your plan?

   I never responded to your foolishness because I still have what you don't want me to have!

   Nothing Screams "You're stuck in friend's Zone" like when she tags you as her brother on FB

   Either I'm seriously drunnk or gas prices are high again.... I just got pulled over by a cop on a horse!

   Micheal Phelps did it again......Smoke weed before swimming, got hungry and hurried up and swimmed to the Golden All-American buffett

   Anyone remembers walking far away from your house just to see how good is your wireless home phone reception before it goes out?.....Man did those phones have good battery- life

   I tried cooking with wine tonight, after five glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen

   Welcome to Chik-Fila, doesn't really matters what you all protest for, as long as you EAT MORE CHICKEN!!

   No wonder, the Chinese took the medal in Table Tennis in the olympics....their use to seeing small balls going back n forth.

   If only they had and Olympic event for Facebook, my FB friend would win Gold everytime in the Drama event..

   How come i'm your best friend all of a sudden when you need money? but you dont remember when I needed a ride?

   Since I'm sleeping on the couch, Switced my wife's alka seltzer water with red bull and 2 laxative pills, Since I'm sleeping on the couch !!!

   Since I'm sleeping on the couch, Switced my wife's alka seltzer water with red bull and 2 laxative pills!!! Her shittz going to fly!

   Government: Trickling Poverty up, so every one is Equal today......

   I was going to pirate and record the Expendables 2, movie, but I fear Chhhhhuuuccckkk Norrrris was there

   Im on my FACEBREAK!!!! - definition - a week break from FACEBOOK

   Danggggit! Lets just put Louisana on Craiglist! Maybe the French can buy it back.

   You ever posted something and before you can even proofread it there's like 50 million likes?