Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   When the world kicks you when you're down, breaks its legs.

   "I'm Tom Bodett of Motel 6, we'll leave the Lysol on for ya"

   Something women would NEVER say: "This diamond is too big"

   With all the police and medical shows taking over primetime TV, you figured one could skip all of college to be in the field of criminal justice and medical.

   Police and doctors are fun to watch on TV. Just look at all the shows. In reality, its not as fun when they all watch you. You either done something wrong or something wrong has been done to you.

   A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.

   A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

   Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

   and (number) other friends doesn't need to change their profile pictures.

   a single father of about 4 million kids swimming around fighting to make it to their mother's egg

   How many damn vampire movies and shows has there been since Dracula up until Twilight Saga?.....Somewhere between the number of 40 and overkill of film.

   Don't tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big your God is.

   If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!

   Remember when TV was free?

   Remember the time when Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles. Super Nintendo, Sega Genisis, the ORIGINAL Nickelodeon, Saturday morning cartoons. and recess made you a real kid back then.

   Why.....do the best-looking cars have the dumbest drivers

   You've been backstabbed, rejected, unwanted, abandoned, betrayed, tricked, lied to, ridiculed, cheated on, heartbroken, defeated, and said NO to all your life...Did it kill you? Of course not...just made you stronger. USE IT.

   Funny how people get easily buzzed about the new iphone and droid phones. Meanwhile, China and Japan are sitting back laughing at us with their better (possible) 5G phones.

   Some people find themselves spending more time on their ex's FB page more then they spent time on their ex period.

   When is the excessive use of the word 'swagg' going to die already. Getting tired of hearing it in every rap song. Bad enough people don't even know the true meaning of it.