BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.

   The corner of my bathtub is also referred to as "The Shampoo Bottle Graveyard"

   When you have children yourself, you begin to understand what you owe your parents.

   I saw a piece of s$it on the ground yesterday. It reminded me of you.

   I will rip my teeth out removing a price tag off a new shirt before I look for scissors.

   Coffee shops should have a separate line for people who are late for work.

   Oh, you're dating my ex...I thought the five second rule was for food only...

   I only have a home phone so I can find my cell phone.

   My favorite machine at the gym is the exit door.

   I'd like to thank Tetris for making me really good at loading my dishwasher.

   If someday we all go to prison for downloading music, I can only hope that they split us up by music genre.

   That annoying moment when you're waiting for a text & you get one but it's from the wrong person.

   The best part of being single is that you always get to be right.

   “A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”

   “A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.”

   My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.

   I wouldn't consider myself Single, more like I'm in a relationship with Freedom!

   If you take relationship advice from Taco Bell hot sauce packets... Congrats, you have reached rock bottom.

   The older I get, the more I think I owe my parents an apology...

   Word of Advice: No matter what city you live in, no matter where you travel, there will always be douche bags there.