Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   At least I can sleep at night knowing the best person won the election.

   Obama claimed he was the one to bring the races together... Hows that working for ya BLM?

   "A health care deal, his mouth, and his ties to Russia" - What are three things Donald Trump can't close?

   If Hillary won we would be under Sharia law. Bacon would be outlawed

   Eating pork chops with mohammad

   This isn't over. The GOP will unveil its Putincare plan, just as soon as the Trump Administration gets the green light from the Kremlin.

   I just saw the video of Trump and the Russian ladies. It isn't as bad as it seems. Trump got stung by a jellyfish, and that is why they were peeing on him.

   It sucks when a bunch of rich white guys don't get the improvements to their health care plan at the expense of women and the poor like they have been promised.

   Donald Trump and I have managed to get the same number of bills through congress.

   Devin Nunes wants a closed interview of all the top microwave manufacturers.

   a president with sex tapes...gee, I'm glad we didn't put a Clinton in office again

   I'm so broke identity thieves sent a fruit basket with a note. "Sorry about the ID theft. Please tell your creditors to stop calling us."

   Sometimes I meet people and feel sorry for their dog.

   Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.

   When Trump was pledging to drain the swamp, his rabid supporters never noticed that he didn't have anything good to refill the swamp with once it was drained.

   trump must be very frustrated that congress is full of people with principles that care about Americans. It makes it harder for him to improve America for the richest and whitest Americans at the expense of everyone else.

   where are all the supporters that say bye bye obamacare? ctfu yall quiet

   Spicer, Nunes, Conway and Trump. These are the biggest jokes ever.

   Trump will make tremendous deals, incredible deals, as long as he doesn't face yuuuuuge obstacles like a large GOP majority in the House.

   People sometimes confuse deal-making skills with having enough money to bully the little guys into doing what you want.