Funny Status Messages

   It was nice to see Rose from the Titanic do the coin toss..

   But the Atlanta Falcons won the popular vote! How could this happen?! #NOTMYSUPERBOWL

   I like sleeping because it is kind of like being dead but without the commitment.

   White Americans killing off other Americans is a psychological issue, not an ideological one.

   These people don't even know what a "Temporary" refugee means. Temporary, Temporary, Temporary. Say it with me.

   Don't blame me, I voted for Calvin Coolidge.

   Now I know where the YouTube commenters hang out when they're waiting for the new Nickelback video debut.

   Just wondering if you put healing crystals in a sock and beat someone with it do they cancel each other out?

   My car's GPS allows you to change voices. I tried the one featuring Karen Carpenter. When I try to calculate my arrival time, the only answer she gives is, "We've only just begun."

   Trump has been in power for over 2 weeks. Why am I not rolling in the dough?????

   Looks like 84 Lumber won't get hired to build the wall...

   Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons, but they forgot to mention Morons.

   For those of you who don't have a significant other to spend Valentine's Day with, kindly resist the temptation to brag about it.

   Justin Bieber looks like he needs to be cast in a Home Alone movie.

   In hockey and in women.. periods temporarily stop the fun .

   Trump for some days has tried to please Isr aiel for rele gious motivations. And I'm not re ligious to give a...

   Who is gonna clean the wall after it's built?

   Wonder if Hillary is feeling lonely now that nobody cares about her emails or how corrupt she is?

   the American media now accountable to Putin? I wonder where Russia got the idea that they could make demands of the American media - perhaps from our very own president?

   I think I'll open a Vietnamese restaurant that never closes and call it "Twenty Pho Seven."