Funny Status Messages

   Remember when Sarah Palin was the dumbest person in politics? Good times......

   If I don't get at least one friend deletion on facebook every now and then, I feel as if I'm being all I can be.

   Generic Frosted Flakes are Oooooooookay!

   These Jehovah's Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.

   If God gave you a good singing voice, you should sing loud in church to give thanks. And if God gave you a not-so-good singing voice, you should sing loud in church to get back at Him.

   Remember the protests back in 2011 when Obama stopped the Iraqi refugees from entering the States for six months? Neither do I.

   As long as the Doomsday Clock people are adjusting the clock for Trump, they should give it smaller hands.

   Canada: Compared to the USA, it's the North American equivalent to the kids' table at a holiday dinner.

   South Americans. They gave the world coffee and tomatoes. It was all downhill from there.

   The American Dream is still Alive folks...You just can't do it as an employee or a Hillary

   Noticed the guy in front of me making a right turn into a cemetery. Tried shouting at him that it's a dead end, but he wouldn't listen...

   Fun new drinking game for parents: Take a shot every time your child screams. Hahaha... Just kidding! Don't do this. You'll die.

   I'm writing this post from the Emergency Room, nothing to worry about. Just turns out my new Dyson Ball Cleaner isn't what I thought it was.

   people with children should be allowed to do things while hiding from their children because children are mini terrorists.

   Too F#CKED up how much of the population has been dumb down to march for rights you already have ! ! !

   Trump has chosen Mickey pence as his vice-president. Did anyone in their wildest dreams even imagine that Donald and Mickey would run America one day!? Walt Disney would be proud of this!

   Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor

   What do President Trump and Tony the Tiger have in common? They're both orange and make things GREEAAT!

   NY and California have he highest number of inbred marriages and incest. So I would say ALOT.

   I went out clubbing lat night. I got 12 baby seals; a new personal record.