Funny Status Messages

   Two words: Pokemon No

   Went out with this really cute babe today .... Was really kinda disappointed when she took off her bra to find out it just full of Pokemon.

   ... Look .... I'm Sorry but if I see you walk into a fence or wall or see you fall into a pothole because you were looking for Pikachu ... I'm only gonna Laughachu!

   Skip the next 20 pages, nothing worth stealing.

   Stop checking my Status , Go and love your GF

   Black Beatles Lives Matter. Black Eyed Peas Matter. Black Leather Jackets Matter. Now Black Off And Leave Me The F#ck Alone. . .

   I'd love to watch Samuel L Jackson and Morgan Freeman get into a heated argument while James Earl Jones tries to stop them.

   .... Do you think ISIS cares about Pathetic Hashtags, Prayers or ... Candles? Wake up Earth!! They care not about you ....

   .... In a world collapsing ..... What do YOU prefer? ...... Comforting LIES .... Or .... Unpleasant TRUTHS?

   Science....because the answer never turned out to be magic. Ever.

   Females don't want much from you except your time, attention, space, food, shirts, fun, bed covers, genitals, passwords, credit cards, life and soul.

   A birth certificate is basically a baby receipt.

   Legend says when you can't sleep it's because you are awake in someone else's dreams....when I find out who you are I'm going to punch you right in the face.

   Well aren't you just a fun little pretty lollipop triple dipped in psycho....

   Get lost in nature during a hike and you will definitely not find yourself, more like you could quite possibly die....

   Always Put This On Your Online Dating Profile: My hobbies include taking LSD and rescuing stray dogs.

   You think the world is conflicted now? Wait until we discover a new inhabitable planet and then try to figure which races and religions to take there.

   I've noticed that when you remove the vowels from "female" you get FML.

   Notice to all you "bar star" chicks out there....STD'S aren't Pokemon, you don't have to catch them all!!

   Political posts on facebook actually makes me miss Farmville requests and pictures of cats and dogs :)