Funny Status Messages

   Hit my head on a flag pole ... now I'm seeing Stars and Stripes ....

   The Pentagon now allows Transgenders to serve in the military and get free sex changes ..... Heck .... Apparently you really can be All you can be!

   To all of the Canadians celebrating Canada Day in America this weekend ..... Your Welcome.

   Do our elected officials even know what their Job Description is? I'm pretty sure it doesn't include ignoring and trashing the Constitution!

   Guys with no beard must also help with breastfeeding the baby.

   "Heck .... If we return EVERYTHING to it's original State ..... Then NOTHING .... Shall ever Improve" ......( future man )

   HEY, To EVERYBODY celebrating Independence Day, None of us want independence, We just want to be taken care of!!! .... We are .... The Baby Nation!!!! ..... Join Us!!! .... BTW .... We are also known as the Democrats.

   Shocked by the 16% approval rating of congress held by Americans in June 2016. That can't be right. Who are these psychos in the 16 percent?

   if you own a body shop and it's not called "Auto Correct", then what's the point?

   It's called "Independence Day" not "Dependence Day" for a reason

   If Trump and Hillary are stranded on a boat in the middle of the ocean, who survives? America. America survives.

   GOP Convention Speakers: 1) Donald Trump's kids. 2) Donald Trump's wife. 3) Donald Trump's grandma. 4) Donald Trump's barber.

   The day a black NFL player gets shot by a cop, ruining Paul Ryan's fantasy football team, will be the day the GOP addresses police brutality.

   If anyone goes to a house without a dog or WiFi, should you wonder how many people are buried in their yard?

   If you don't lose a finger or two this weekend can you really even call yourself an American.

   America: Diet coke, large pizzas.

   Favorite all-time Disney snuff film is "Frying Dory."

   Just realized the definition of the word "word" is made up of many words and now I have a headache.

   Rachel Dolezal celebrated Canada Day by announcing she's a Canadian.

   Just created a Tinder page for my dog and he's already got more right swipes than me.