bego Funny Status Messages

   Okay, let's get this straight. There's no way EVERYONE has the best boyfriend in the world. Work it out amongst yourselves.

   My last relationship was almost as complicated as the knot my pocket created with my headphones.

   You know you are in love with a guy when you think about having sex with him.

   When people go underwater during movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation. I died at Finding Nemo.

   In a court of law you're innocent until proven guilty. In a relationship you're guilty until proven innocent.

   I wonder what it feels like to be one of those pretty girls that all of the guys want.

   if you can just walk away like nothing happened then it never mattered to you in the first place  

   Don't you just hate it when the person you're Facebook-stalking never updates anything.

   Getting back with an ex is pretty much like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.

   A bad picture of you, and your automatic response is… “Don't put that on Facebook!”

   Phone on silent. 10 missed calls. Turns volume to loudest. Nobody calls All damn Day.

   If girlfriend has no texts in their phone history, you are totally being cheated on.

   New STD called, FEELINGS. Dont catch that s&it.

   Ugly chiks with cute kids should get charged with kidnapping... Bit& that aint yo baby!!

   FACT: Relationships last longer when everybody doesnt know your business

   When the creator of photoshop dies.. All you girls gone go back to being UGLY..

   I want that "Damn you are still together?" Relationship!

   Longest minutes ever: 1. Waiting on a text 2. Waiting on your food to get out the microwave 3. Commercial while watching a good show.

   Its funny how when I feel my phone vibrate I'll get up to read the text but when my alarm clock goes off in the morning I push snooze like 12 times.

   Reasons why I'm still single: ✔ can't date the internet. ✔ can't date my favorite celebrity. ✔ can't date Facebook. ✔ can't date myself..