moon Funny Status Messages

   Just once in my life I'd like to finish a project as easily as they make it seem in the how to YouTube videos.

   Live music can sometimes take me to another place. Like today for example I saw a band who were so bad I left I went to another place spirit.

   Live music can sometimes take me to another place. Like today for example I saw a band who were so bad I left I went to another place.

   Besides my good looks, honesty, charm, witty personality and my incredible sense of humor I have to say that my greatest characteristic is my modesty.

   Like this status if you're the type of person who likes to carry all your groceries into your house in one trip, but then realize at the front door you have so many bags in your hands you can't get the keys out of pocket.

   When I was a kid, selfies used to be called narcissism.

   Whoever designed my new phone that uses power to light up, beep and shake on and off for 15 minutes or so before it dies should be fired.

   Now it's too hot out to take the Christmas lights down.

   Just want to wish all my single friends out there a very happy Independence Day!

   I just burnt 550 calories without doing anything. And that's the last time I look at Facebook with pizza in the oven!

   Coming out can be hard as people don't understand our way of life and can be very close minded, but I feel in this day and age I can no longer be afraid to say I love Disco!

   Thanks to Facebook me and my friend's can now send each other invites and make plans months in advance like we're going on an expedition to the upper reaches of Mongolia to get together for a cup of coffee.

   Shout out to the guy in the Beamer who gave me the finger for honking and waving at him. Your cell phone is on the roof of your car!

   I just want to be as happy as the characters in any horror movie are during the first half hour of the film.

   A friend is typing..... A grand is typing..... A friend is typing..... A friend is typing..... A friend is typing..... Friend says lol

   Wish there was a way to turn horrible books back into trees.

   These post apocalyptic movies are just not factual. I mean how can everyone be wearing leather when there are no cows?

   You know you're a classic VW owner if your friends always ask to borrow tools when you stop by because they know you're carrying them with you.

   Men are NOT pigs. Pigs are gentle sensitive and intelligent animals.

   If where you live doesn't have numbers on it you really need to address that.