jitney Funny Status Messages

   Florida's Zombie, Florida's Zimmerman, Florida's Laws, and Florida's Heat Team....sounds like Floridans are leading the chart in the Funny

   Are we running out of chickens to eat? Another student found eating brains and heart cops says!

   The Best solution against Zombies, is Weed......Light em Up!

   Before facebook, I use to wait about a week for Walgreens to develop my pictures, to show my friends how good I lok in the Bathroom

   You know when you rearrange "Mother -In-Law" in any language you still get "Women Hitler!"......Got a PuertoRican-Haitian Hitler to deal with

   Do "lol" goes before or after the sentence??? Everytime I read something funny, I quickly stop laughing out loud cuz I get frustrated

   Q: What is the standard # of ppl you can have being blocked on FB? I wanna block all my ex(s)!

   If you have a craving for Pringles & Sardines at 3am in the morning..... you just smoked some bad weed, thats all!

   It's Siri's time off the month again....she's acting mad and wont answer anything

   I pour some Bacon Flavored Bath Salt water on a Roach to see what happens. Cuz Raid and Pest Control are getting expensive! I

   I don't have time to babysit ppl's feelings. Speak up. How I'm suppose to know what's wrong with you?

   You ever typed slower than your mind thinks? Yeah that just happened to me...... It was funny in my head, but when I read it I was like...clearly to much beer!

   I guess I have to set my phone on OKC mode this weekend........No Rings!

   *Breathing hard* Today, I finally ran for 1 mile without stopping. STUPID ice cream man just kept driving even though I waved my money in the air...

   "I need a girl who I can spend the rest of my whole night with...."

   I dont see what's the big deal about Bath Salt Water... I tried it and nothing happened, but I gotta tell ya..... Everything sure looks like CHICKEN!!!

   Man, it was so HOT today, Instagram stop working!.....

   Spooning may lead to Forking

   My sons argue n fight all day n never share. Y'all shared a womb and before that a sack now you can't share a friggin bag of chips ugggghh

   Shout out to whoever got these gas prices down in July. now lets hit da two dollar mark.