cj Funny Status Messages

   Dear Customers, Yes, we are making fun of you in Vietnamese. Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies!!

   I don't have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!

   My blood type is Dutch Bros.

   Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the Husband, sharks for the husbands mother.

   If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my a$$!!

   I bet Bin laden now reqrets letting his Facebook "Check In" at his current location

   A friend is like a good bra: hard to find, comfortable, supportive, always lifts you up, makes you look better, never lets you down or leaves you hanging, and always close to your heart.

   Hey, to any friend that has has ever helped me out THANKS, I'm sure I've told you before but I have just been thinking about all that other have done for me and I really appreciate it !!!! THANK YOU !!!

   A positive to being overweight: you fill the bathtub up real quick, and save money on your water bill.

   Well well well Mr. Sun, It's about time your lazy a$$ showed up for work!!

   A*s....its the theme of the day! I feel like it, look like it, hopefully don't smell like it and probably am one!

   Today........"WORK" is a 4 letter word!!

   Excuses are like backsides. Everybody's got one and they all stink.

   I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay, the mice throw themselves on the traps.

   Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee.

   Some people make me understand why monkeys throw their poo.

   Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

   My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

   Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.

   I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning but now how it applies to me.