Fazzella Funny Status Messages

   The election in a nutshell: We let the p*ssies play pin the tail on the donkey for a while, then shut the party down.

   Election still got you down? It could be worse. You could be a conjoined twin with a g@y brother who has a date and you're the only one with an @$$.

   Indi@n people win spelling bees, Jeopardy championships, and collegiate scholarships. They know everything...except the existence of deodorants.

   I can never tell when one someone pokes me right back on facebook if they're really into me or has major OCD.

   Chelsea said she had a wonderful time and she thinks she's in love. Hillary said, "You didn't have s-e-x, did you? Chelsea said, "Not according to Dad."

   After Chelsea returned from a date, Hillary asked her if she had a good time. Chelsea said she had a wonderful time and she thinks she's in love. Hillary said, "You didn't have sex, did you? Chelsea said, "Not according to Dad."

   Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

   Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

   I slept with this girl, and in the morning I asked her if she wanted breakfast in bed. She said one pig in the blanket was enough.

   This milk tastes like gorgonzola cheese. The sell by date is 12/29. Never mind. 12/29/15.

   Okay you refugees, idiots aren't terrorist. By definition, they are running away from the idiots. Why are you too stupid to realize this???????