Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   Women go shopping at the mall, Men go shopping on Facebook.

   You don't have a drinking problem; people without arms have a drinking problem.

   Did you know, if on a full moon if you light a candle and say the name of someone you love 3 times, you'll look stupid doing that?

   Keep your woman close and your cell phone closer!

   A friend in need is a friend who's going straight to voicemail.

   You're not an alcoholic; you're a soberphobic.

   If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?

   Laughter is the best medicine. But laugh for no reason and you need medicine.

   A gynaecologist is the only fool on earth who looks for problems in a place where others find pleasure.

   Google+ is like Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense. It doesn't know it's dead yet.

   Whenever I get angry, I calm myself down by repeating these 5 words over and over again, “Bartender, Give Me A Double”

   Has anyone told you how fuckalicious you look today?

   A girl plays with your mind. A woman explores it.

   For 20 yrs Jay-Z referred to other men's daughters as b!tches & hoes then decides his own daughter Princess Baby Jesus is exempt from the game!

   Golf is like sex. If you're playing somewhere classy, wash your balls first.

   Ghetto word of the day: COLOGNE. Usage: "You think you cologne me a dollar or two?"

   Er, excuse me, Mr. Swagger, Either walk a little bit faster or buy a damn belt.

   The three magic words EVERY woman loves to hear, “You were right.”

   Here's a bit of advice: advi

   Since Wikipedia is in blackout today, in protest of online anti-piracy laws, can anyone tell me where the G-Spot is?