BEGO Funny Status Messages

   We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.

   OK some Women want to be equal to Men... Send us flowers to work, pick us up for a date, open the car or any door for us, take us out to dinner and a movie flip the bill and leave the tip and you make the first move at the end of the date!!!

   Swear I bet you if I was a hot chick and I left a status that said "I'm brushing my hair". It would get about 50 likes.

   I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house.

   Dear heart, next time ... Damn THINK!

   "Drunk Posting" is worse than "Drunk Texting", because instead of one person thinking you're an idiot, EVERYONE does!

   I hate when a texting convo goes like this You: heyy. Them: hey! You: watzup? Them: nothin wbu? You: same. Them: cool. You: yea Them: haha. You: lol. Them: yep.

   when you see a sign at a restaurant that says 'employees must wash BOTH hands', I think that's when you have to worry...

   I hate when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn't follow the script.

   The f***ing thing I f***ing like the most in the f***ing english language is that you can f***ing put the f***ing word "f***ing" every f***ing place you f***ing want.

   When you know why you like someone, it's a crush. When you have no reason or explanation, it's love.

   I don't care if you think I'm crazy. Life is too short to be normal!

   I love reading Facebook drama, people go so hard behind that keyboard!

   Crazy Fact… People born in 1994-1999 have lived in three decades, two centuries, and two millenniums. & they are not even 18 yet.

   GAGA: So famous, even babies know her name .

   Dear radio stations, you do realize there are more than just 5 songs in the world, right?

   Does a prostitute file pregnancy as a work-related accident?

   Pack of gum, 10 chances to turn an enemy into a friend

   I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!

   if I were sitting in a jail cell right now, why would you think I was there? ;)