life Funny Status Messages

   I worry that you'll work in an office, have children, celebrate wedding anniversaries. The world of the heterosexual is a sick and boring life.

   A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

   Monday sure is an awful way to spend 1/7th of our life......

   ‎3 facts about life: 1 You can't touch all your teeth with your tongue. 2 Your retarded cause you just tried it. 3 Now your smiling cause you're an idiot.

   Life is like a big fart........You come into the world, make a big stink, and then you just fade away!....

   In a perfect world you would be able to mark people as spam in real life.

   Just when my nightmares were over about you, you walk in my life in reality.

   When life gives you a Grenade, pull the pin and toss it to your EX..

   If somebody's presence does not add value to your life... then their absence should make no difference!

   You know you've made wonderful choices in life when you're proud of yourself for not being drunk before lunch.

   Every girl has 3 guys in her life: one she loves, one she hates, and the one she can't live without. But in the end, it's the same guy!

   i feel like a jerk. I just laughed at a life alert commercial.

   People change its a part of life, but sometimes its easier to hold on to the memories of who they were... rather then to realize who they have become...

   People will always have an opinion about you. Whether positive or negative. They will tell you to your face or behind your back. Do what makes you happy. Live your life to the fullest. Life is too short to worry about someone's opinions.

   It's the little things in life that count. Like my salary.

   Enjoy the little things in life, because one day, you'll look back and realize that they were actually big things.

   Marriage: finding that special someone you want to annoy the rest of your life

   CONSEQUENCES OF TODAY'S MODERN LIFE STYLES: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Your kids and my kids are beating our kids!

   almost drowned in the shower yesterday, so today I have my life jacket and the voices and I have rehearsed what to do in case of an emergency

   Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life