CzovCzov Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You knew how I chew when you agreed to marry me.
←Rate | 08-31-2015 01:58 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon When reality comes knocking, I make tequila answers the door.
←Rate | 09-01-2015 14:34 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I came, I saw, I got jiggy with it, I'm now discussing my options with a court appointed attorney.
←Rate | 09-06-2015 08:47 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t trust everything you see. Even vodka can look like water.
←Rate | 09-08-2015 00:21 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many people actually tell everyone that you said Hi.
←Rate | 09-19-2015 08:38 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon My safe word is yourhusbandishome.
←Rate | 09-24-2015 10:27 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Please make me happy" I whisper to my prescription.
←Rate | 09-25-2015 12:54 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Negative people and stupid people should be tape recorded and forced to listen to their own bullsh*t.
←Rate | 09-29-2015 12:02 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember this weekend to help your girl relax by telling her she "needs to relax."
←Rate | 10-03-2015 07:40 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey girls,the best time to give a blowjob is when there's a football game on TV. It sounds like 50,000 people are cheering for you.
←Rate | 10-12-2015 00:57 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ford vehicles names are more fun when you put "an@l" in front of them..Probe, Explorer, Excursion, Endeavor, Ranger,etc
←Rate | 10-12-2015 00:57 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I'm sad, I remember that my cats most likely think I’m out hunting for them all day, and then I feel like a badass again
←Rate | 10-12-2015 14:34 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got rid of all the bad influence people in my life and now I'm bored.
←Rate | 10-15-2015 01:04 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon You never really expect to meet your soulmate in a strip club.
←Rate | 10-16-2015 16:12 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am just surprised your mouth isn't foot-shaped.
←Rate | 10-25-2015 07:26 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon If elected president, I will remove all things Kardashian and Jenner from the Internet and television.
←Rate | 10-28-2015 00:54 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I have survived could kill 99% of you.
←Rate | 10-29-2015 14:41 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s nice how your Selfies accentuate your instability.
←Rate | 11-01-2015 09:17 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one calls you promiscuous because you have more than one beer
←Rate | 11-05-2015 00:37 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a big advocate of the 'You started it' method of defense in an argument.
←Rate | 11-06-2015 00:58 by Czovczov Comments (0)  




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