bego Funny Status Messages

   Deleting your Facebook is just like running away from home. Your're just doing it for attention and you'll be back in an hour or so..

   Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention' as their Facebook status.

   I once had a life … then some idiot came and told me to make a Facebook!

   Relationships nowadays: First month, I love you baby! Second month, we are forever! Third month, Single.

   We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper

   Facebook reminds me daily how moving out of my hometown was a great idea

   You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

   Sometimes, I throw clean clothes in the hamper because I'm too lazy to fold them.

   I hate it when people are at your house and ask, “Hey do you have a bathroom?” Nooooo not at all, we all dump in the yard.

   There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating pain 3. Stepping on a Lego.

   Ambulances and women have a lot in common… they both make a ton of noise to let you know they are coming!

   There should be some sort of device that instantly makes my bed less comfortable when my alarm goes off in the morning.

   When I am home alone and I hear a noise, I freeze and listen.

   Admit it, you love them so you Facebook stalk them. You over think your status updates in case they read them & you look @ all their photos several times a day.

   Your breath smells so bad, I don't know whether to give you a tic tac or toilet paper…

   Exit Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, look at phone, check Facebook…  

   Seriously guys , she didn't slap me on the face for calling her a b**ch, its just that I forgot to raise my hand when she wants to high five with me.

   Money means nothing to me. If you don't believe me, ask me for money. You'll get nothing.

   i hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we havent thought about in a while...demons."

   That split second when you are 100% sure ur gunna die after you lean to far back in ur chair