seddy90 Funny Status Messages

   Notice Liars have 2 or 3 stories like a big house!!!!

   Never chase them, quickly replace them. Mistakes? Nahh, I don't retrace them. I just move on and mentally erase them.

   Spongebob, it's been over 11 years. You're not getting your drivers license.

   Like if you dont think ..3x-7y+(1/2)b.. really gonna help you in life?

   Bruno mars is catching grenades and Taio Cruz is using dynamite, well it's obvious they've been playing COD..#blackops

   As a girl walks into a typical club, she mentally prepares to be hit on by everything with a penis.

   "The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

   I've just bought a Dalmatian puppy. And I've found out if you join all the dots together with a marker pen... ...it doesn't wash off.

   evEr nitoced how hwrd it is to tpye wiht yuor left hnd whsilt you are wnaking?

   My Chemistry teacher asked me if I know the symbol compound of sodium hydrogen. I said NaH.

   like If you ever Scream at Dora because whatever she's looking for, is right behind her...!!!!

   My wife would buy anything. Just this afternoon I came home to find a naked man in her closet.

   I asked my wife why her facebook password was SneezySleepyDopeyDocHappyBashfulGrumpy she said it needed to be seven characters

   Women have to deal with periods and pregnancy. Men have to deal with Women. It's all about balance.

   Sometimes I think that my parents had me just so I could clean the house for them.

   Like if you always wonder why people in cartoons never change their clothes.

   I didn't slap you...I just high-fived your face :)

   We do it on the bed,on the kitchen counter,on the floor and in the backseat of a car.Gosh...we text EVERYWHERE!

   I'm the type of boy who can set the kitchen on fire by just getting a bowl of cereal.

   Can't believe I forgot my wife was on her period. Boy is my face red.