YODA Funny Status Messages

   The party's not over 'till you smile for the mugshot. ;-p

   Im thinking of changing my name to Reason.... Because no one ever listens to me.

   t amazes me that Playboy have explored the idea of making pop-up books yet.

   To drink or not to drink!? What a stupid question!

   To drink or not to drink!? What a stupid question!

   Thanksgiving may be the only time some people in California see real breasts

   It's not cellulite, it's my body's way of saying "I'm sexy" ...in braille.

   If you're not part of the solution, you may be part of the team I work for...

   Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.

   If watching the big-screen TV with a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn't have couches at this Best Buy...

   I can't believe they let people own guns. Public toilets are all the proof we need that humans have horrible aim

   Alcohol does NOT make you fat, it makes you LEAN...against tables, chairs and walls...

   There are givers and takers in this world... Takers eat better, givers sleep better

   With the holidays, I'd rather check my facebook than face my checkbook...

   Just saw a "for lease" sign, I painted "navidad" under it ...

   I used to complain aobut how much a cup of coffee was at Starbucks... after seeing how much a "cup" is at the VIctoria Secret Fashion show, I'm getting a GREAT deal at Starbucks...

   The mega winner says she picked the numbers by her kids birthdays… Please tell me what month has 39 days

   You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body....

   Did anyone tell the Broncos what time the game started?

   Sitting here watching the "Biggest Loser" season finale... uh, thought I would see the Broncos....