MWC Funny Status Messages

   Hey Bill, do you talk to your wife during sex..."Only if there is a phone handy!!"

   Man that wind is really blowing hard out. I seen a chicken lay the same egg three times..

   Don't get my attitude confused with my personality. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are.

   If I had 10 nutter butter cookies and you took 5 away, what would you have...That's right, a black eye an a broke hand!

   Well the good news is Obama won nothing will change, The bad news is Obama won nothing will change.

   I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method.

   Baby with a face like yours, I bet you just beat off all the guys!

   Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....

   Just a reminder that you don't have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.

   In every successful relationship the MANalways has the last word,,,"Yes Dear"

   ""What does it mean when a woman is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.""

   I praise these men and women of this proud and God fearing nation they are so important to the history of this country with out them we would be under someone else's rule. I thank you mlitary men and women. Posted to the idiot who didn't sign his name!!

   Just did my morning run!! (from the bed to the bathroom) I feel so invigorated.

   As a kid I remember my dad taking us to a hill and rolling us down in tires. Them were Good Years

   I want a Breast Cancer Awareness t-shirt that say "Yes they're fake, My real ones tried to kill me!"

   I wonder if Woody and Buzz have ever met any of Andy's Mom's toys. They probably have the same names.

   My bank lets me send a text message and it'll text back with my balance. It's a cool feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.

   the worst part of being naked is not having pockets

   Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says "Help, need ride!"

   No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with!