Funny Status Messages

   This is a historic day today - one we will all remember. A woman on a bed with the whole of Britain watching and waiting. RIP internet porn....

   William & Kate, i'm really happy for you and imma let you finish, but Panda Watch was the best baby watch of all time!! ‪#‎Anchorman‬ , ‪#‎imronburgundy‬?

   Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.

   So Captain Crunch and Kate had a little crunchberry.

   A terrorist attack killing thousands, a car wreck killing two. Nice try britboy

   Royal baby born weighing 8 pounds, worth billions of them!

   Kate is officially a milf

   This is Britain's chance to outshine the USA by not naming the royal baby after a fruit, plant, or direction.

   About this whole Royal Baby thing, I googled "who cares?" and my name wasn't in the search results. 

   Well if he is the Duke of Wellington, I guess they could name him Beef.

   Nancy Grace TONIGHT: George Zimmerman's secret plot to kill the Royal Baby.

   George Zimmerman helped 4 people out of an overturned SUV. I'm guessing it wasn't a black SUV.

   I don't do kings and I don't support inbreeding.

   This whole rescue could have been avoided if he just stayed in his vehicle. He should have called it in and waited for ems to arrive.

   My pet rock pees on the floor.... Bad boy!! (Then I spank his butt)... Then mom lectures me for 2 hrs. about hitting rock bottom.

   It's a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone... Someone has to honk when the light turns green.

   It's SO weird to think that before we invented cars,, if you hated someone, you had to key their horse.

   Maybe the royal baby is Dennis Farina reincarnated.

   The Royal baby took so long to come out they are going to name him George Michael

   Ya know, in France they would have called it the "Royale Baby with Cheese".