bego Funny Status Messages

   Best part of Halloween is the day after…clearance candy in the stores and drunken slutty pictures on Facebook.

   I dressed up as MySpace for Halloween. Hey why is everyone ignoring me?

   Here lies Eddie Drake, he stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

   Friends are forever, until they are in relationship.

   Facebook is going to start making high school reunions really awkward. “John! I haven't seen you in ten years! Wow, what have you been up to since that nap you took at 3 o'clock this afternoon?”

   It's just as well money can't buy happiness. With prices what they are today, who could afford it anyway?

   Don't let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know doesn't give a damn about you.

   No one ever gets tired of loving. They just get tired of waiting, assuming, hearing lies, saying sorry & hurting.

   Love starts with "You are different" & ends with "you are all the same"

   RUMORS are carried by HATERS, spread by FOOLS and accepted by IDIOTS.

   From now on if you type, "LOL" you should have to submit a damn video proving it.

   Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared.

   I gave my boss a nick name. Everyone thought it was funny. Unfortunately "The Troll" was behind me and heard everything.

   Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong."

   I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder.

   My girlfriend started to plan our wedding. We've been going out for 3 days.

   It would be so cool if I could see what my life would be like if I had made different decisions.

   I never worry about money. What's the sense of worrying about something you don't have?

   My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough.

   I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss.