trump Funny Status Messages

   Flynn has agreed to testify in exchange for immunity. "Can someone please offer me a deal?" responds Melania Trump.

   Republican Marriages: To avoid temptation, Mike Pence won't dine alone with women. To avoid temptation, Melania Trump lives in New York.

   The reason Trump won't release his tax returns is religious. He doesn't want us to mock his profit.

   If you think Mike Pence referring to his wife as mother is disturbing, just wait until you hear what Trump calls Ivanka behind closed doors.

   I knew Trump would declare war pretty soon into his Presidency but I didn't think we'd be so lucky he'd declare war on the "Freedom" Caucus.

   The bright side of Trump eradicating the ozone layer is even with melanoma and retinal cancer, we can all enjoy the pretty polluted sunsets.

   It was fortunate that while investigation into Trump's wild claims took place, there was no other news to report.

   Jobs, jobs jobs. Trump won't stop until every American can afford to hire a Russian call girl to pee on them.

   If to this day you still going on about how Trump won, you are an idiot of the lowest order. By now you should be talking about how Trump made America great again, which unfortunately is just a promised pipe dream.

   Wonder if Donald is going to borrow money from Vladimir Putin to pay for Trump University lawsuit.

   Don't get Donald Trump started on how Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd is no match for Dreamy Eyes Sean Hannity.

   Every day is April Fools if you voted for Trump.

   Trump has been divorced three times. From: 1) Ivanka. 2) Marla. 3) Reality.

   Sorry there will be no April Fools day prank coming out of the white house. They already did by putting Trump in office.

   Trump has asked his senior advisors to figure out a way to combine his two favourite pastimes ... golf, and getting peed on by Russian call girls.

   Melania Trump did her part in saving American jobs by having her official portrait taken at a local Sears Photo Studio.

   America's enemies must be shaking in fear of this new "All talk, no action" approach to foreign problems. I mean Trump can really, really talk.

   Trump removed abandon from NSC so he can devote more time to his role as the White House liaison with the K K K.

   Donald Trump public ally supports Bill O'Reilly. In other news, dozens of female White House staff change their mind about speaking out against sexual harassment. Kellyanne silently weeps while tiny fingers rub her thigh.

   The Trump administration has removed endangered species protections for parrots. Polly hates a cracker.