BEGO Funny Status Messages

   “Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..

   Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.

   Like sands through the hourglass, Facebook wastes the days of our lives.

   Hey Facebook Friends, what's the best gym to pretend that you go to?

   LIKE if you do this :: *Wrong password.* “OMG SOMEONE HAS HACKED ME! “Oh, it's on caps lock…

   If bars can say no to drunk people why won't McDonalds say no to fat people?

   Before I go to sleep, I start imagining stuff that I would like to happen.

   Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 

   That urge you get to write “No one gives a crap” on someone's status.

   Life is harder for the beautiful people. I'm sorry you'll never know.

   Today's Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bulls**t.

   The number one lie in the whole world is...i swear I will love you forever..

   Why don't you go buy a diary Instead of posting your whole life story on Facebook?

   I hate the people that cover up their answers, Like c'mon.. Lets work together bro..

   Dramatically slamming a book shut upon finishing it was way more satisfying than switching my Kindle off and gently placing it on the table.

   With all the people on my back, it's a miracle I can even walk.

   There is 2 types of ugly girls; the UGLY girls, and the girls with MAKE-UP.

   When I was a child,I acted like a child and had imaginary friends,now they just call it facebook.

   Life is like a can of whipped cream.....you have to shake things up a little before you get anything out of it.

   it rude to throw a breath mint in someone's mouth while they are talking?