Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   Buy her a time machine, because women love bringing up the past.

   The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.

   Come a little closer so I can push you away. - Women

   "Love me. Love me more. More. More. More! Damn you over did it, bye!" - Women

   Our relationship is so special we will not cheapen or desecrate it by putting it all over Facebook.

   Calm down R&B singers nearing the end of your songs

   when the sun hits your laptop screen, and you realise it has enough dust to start your own desert.

   Don't spoil the Moment by getting busy in taking selfies for Facebook and instagram.

   What a great time to be alive. If this was 100 years ago I might randomly catch polio, get drafted to fight in WWI or be someone’s slave.

   My biggest fear is dying in a car accident that doesn't totally destroy my phone

   On a scale of 1 to "Get out you're fired" where does napping at work rank?

   Sorry I slow-clapped your breakup, couple sitting at the table next to me.

   I put a Justin Bieber's song as my alarm tone and it works wonders cuz I wake up before it goes off so I don't have to listen to that sh*t.

   I learned from the breast. I mean best. I learned from the best.

   America has got to be the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer.

   The louder you make a women moan increases your chances of having a sandwich.

   You lost me at 'you should'.

   Maybe Aliens have not visited us on earth yet because they're all females and they want us to make the first move.

   What do I have to do to get sent to your room?!

   Who need's a spouse when you have the Facebook?