BEGO Funny Status Messages

   A wife is somebody who won't tell you what to do but will get mad when you don't do what she wanted you to do.

   Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!

   I hate it when teachers say, “You think it's funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn't I wouldn't be laughing…

   You know what I really hate? When I miss someones call by a few minutes and when I call back they don't answer

   The wife and I just sat in a hot car and bickered for six hours. It was the same as going on vacation except we saved $1000.

   When I drop my phone, I act like I've dropped a new born baby.

   Rumors are the sauce of a dry life.

   My girlfriend and I have an open relationship and will continue to do so right up until she finds out.

   Everyone does about ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.

   LIKE if you text someone a paragraph and then 30 minutes later you get a damn lame reply saying "LOL".

   PSA: You may “love” your boyfriend, But we'd all appreciate it if you didn't post it on Facebook every thirty seconds, thanks.

   I liked you when we first met but, since then, you've talked me out of it.

   Hey Reality, I've a extremely large list of people you've forgot to slap!

   Maan !! You're 20 years old & she's 15 years old, HOW COULD YOU CALL IT RELATIONSHIP ? IT'S BABYSITTING !

   This is how my week goes mooooooooooooonday.. tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday... weeeeeeeeeeednesday... thuuuuuuuuuuursday.. fridaysaturdaysunday....

   In kindergarden they call them cooties. in high school we call them STDs...

   I have a lot of friends practicing law without a degree. They all want to judge me.

   You'll never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks. Rather keep biscuits in your pocket, feed the dogs & move ahead.

   Facebook is not the place to reveal your deepest darkest secrets. Your friends "like" you but they don't like you that much!

   Mirror: You look amazing. Camera: I don't think so... Friends: Hey you, someone looks beautiful! Self-esteem: You're ugly.