Baddie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Things more fashionable than a Nickelback t-shirt: 1. Fanny packs. 2. Mom jeans. 3. Crocs. 4. Men's Capri pants. 5. Being on fire.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 13:27 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you’re gonna use the word ‘horny’, you’d better be attractive. Otherwise, cut that s hit out.
←Rate | 03-09-2013 09:34 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would never wanna see my girlfriend cry, That why I got a password on my phone.
←Rate | 03-11-2013 03:11 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When pronouncing my name, the "Hey A sshole" is silent.
←Rate | 03-11-2013 10:01 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My signature sex move is paying upfront.
←Rate | 03-11-2013 10:13 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when a rap song comes on and I'm white.
←Rate | 03-11-2013 13:49 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thought I was seeing a beautiful sunset, but it was just a gang of pelicans dismembering a Jehovah's Witness.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 05:13 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If people ask how many kids you have don't say negative two. No one wants to hear about your abortions.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 05:22 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A black guy called me a disgrace in front of his girlfriend, but then I realized he was introducing me to his girlfriend Grace.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 11:24 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm Mexican, but not "cut your lawn" Mexican. I will, however, steal your job and live with 28 other people.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 13:17 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 13:26 by Baddie Comments (1)  


   messageicon UGH! A co-worker is here with kids and I don't want to talk to them, so I'm trying to look busy. This is the hardest I've worked all week!
←Rate | 03-13-2013 12:37 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife: "When you're watching p orn, do you think of me?" Husband: "When you're eating cake, do you think of dog s hit?"
←Rate | 03-13-2013 13:29 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a Prius is your getaway car, I am afraid you're going to jail.
←Rate | 03-16-2013 14:49 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You have to personally know a moron to fully appreciate the meaning of the word ‘moron’. A mere dictionary won't do.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 05:29 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were a waiter & someone was rude to me, I wouldn't touch their food. I'm an adult. I'd hide in the back seat of their car with a knife.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 11:20 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to alarm anyone but I just saw a flying pig. It was in a helicopter but I couldn't figure out which one of the Kardashians was it.
←Rate | 03-17-2013 11:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!
←Rate | 03-21-2013 08:40 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man cannot live by bread alone. He also needs head.
←Rate | 03-22-2013 12:01 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm white but I'm not "call a radio station to try to win Bon Jovi tickets" white.
←Rate | 03-22-2013 12:18 by Baddie Comments (0)  




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