Baddie Funny Status Messages
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Things more fashionable than a Nickelback t-shirt: 1. Fanny packs. 2. Mom jeans. 3. Crocs. 4. Men's Capri pants. 5. Being on fire.
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03-07-2013 13:27 by Baddie
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If you’re gonna use the word ‘horny’, you’d better be attractive. Otherwise, cut that s hit out.
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03-09-2013 09:34 by Baddie
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I would never wanna see my girlfriend cry, That why I got a password on my phone.
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03-11-2013 03:11 by Baddie
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When pronouncing my name, the "Hey A sshole" is silent.
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03-11-2013 10:01 by Baddie
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My signature sex move is paying upfront.
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03-11-2013 10:13 by Baddie
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I hate when a rap song comes on and I'm white.
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03-11-2013 13:49 by Baddie
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Thought I was seeing a beautiful sunset, but it was just a gang of pelicans dismembering a Jehovah's Witness.
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03-12-2013 05:13 by Baddie
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If people ask how many kids you have don't say negative two. No one wants to hear about your abortions.
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03-12-2013 05:22 by Baddie
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A black guy called me a disgrace in front of his girlfriend, but then I realized he was introducing me to his girlfriend Grace.
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03-12-2013 11:24 by Baddie
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I'm Mexican, but not "cut your lawn" Mexican. I will, however, steal your job and live with 28 other people.
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03-12-2013 13:17 by Baddie
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Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
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03-12-2013 13:26 by Baddie
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UGH! A co-worker is here with kids and I don't want to talk to them, so I'm trying to look busy. This is the hardest I've worked all week!
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03-13-2013 12:37 by Baddie
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Wife: "When you're watching p orn, do you think of me?" Husband: "When you're eating cake, do you think of dog s hit?"
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03-13-2013 13:29 by Baddie
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If a Prius is your getaway car, I am afraid you're going to jail.
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03-16-2013 14:49 by Baddie
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You have to personally know a moron to fully appreciate the meaning of the word ‘moron’. A mere dictionary won't do.
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03-17-2013 05:29 by Baddie
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If I were a waiter & someone was rude to me, I wouldn't touch their food. I'm an adult. I'd hide in the back seat of their car with a knife.
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03-17-2013 11:20 by Baddie
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Not to alarm anyone but I just saw a flying pig. It was in a helicopter but I couldn't figure out which one of the Kardashians was it.
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03-17-2013 11:25 by Baddie
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I don't necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!
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03-21-2013 08:40 by Baddie
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Man cannot live by bread alone. He also needs head.
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03-22-2013 12:01 by Baddie
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I'm white but I'm not "call a radio station to try to win Bon Jovi tickets" white.
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03-22-2013 12:18 by Baddie
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