BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Never say “that won't happen to me!”, because life has a funny way of proving us wrong.

   Username or Password Incorrect” … You couldn't just tell me which one?

   My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.

   Typing a huge paragraph with your true feelings, but then erasing it and typing “yeah…”

   Life's cruel when you think it is, life's happy when you feel it is, and life's best when you enjoy it as it is.

   Sorting out your Facebook friends list? Change the date of your birthday and anyone who wishes you happy birthday, delete!

   Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile smugly at my sparkling wit.

   The only obstacle to following my dreams is the alarm clock...

   The biggest lie on Facebook: 'status offline'

   Face your damn problems. Don't Facebook your problems.

   When I say "I won't tell anyone", my best friend doesn't count.

   You may think I'm a loser, but to my goldfich, I'm the god of flakes.

   A teenager is always lazy to hold a pencil and write but never too lazy to hold a cell phone and type..

   Facebook says we're 'friends' but, trust me, I wouldn't hesitate to punch you in the face.

   You know a girl just broke up with her boyfriend when she starts putting a million quotes on Facebook.

   Life is like Facebook. People will LIKE your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs.

   Facebook = Heavily populated city. Twitter = Just a vacation spot. Myspace = A ghost town.

   Facebook is a like real life in that I don't think of the witty reply until 5 or 6 days after the conversation happened.

   My parents used to be happy when I took naps… but now they think I'm lazy.

   It's difficult to have a committed relationship with a schizophrenic. They're always seeing other people.