Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   Let's be honest. If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made cows faster.

   I wonder if business people know they don't have to talk about business at lunch.

   Repeat after me: It doesn't matter how big the problem is, posting it on Facebook won't solve it.

   The curvy girl gets the worm.

   Spiders - because women need to know they are not independent.

   Behind every woman there's a man trying to put it in her butt.

   "I'll have what she's halving." - Divorce Lawyers

   Every woman has a psycho gene inside her. It just takes the right mix of alcohol and man to bring it out.

   I wouldn't take a bullet for someone because taking something that's not yours is called stealing and that just ain't me son.

   “Listen here, we are watching the movie together for the first time, I also don’t know what that guy is going to do with the gun” - Every man watching a movie with a woman.

   No horror movie can surpass the sensation of touching your pockets and not feeling your cell phone.

   Do people that go outside know they could die and stuff?

   My grocery list is just a piece of paper that says "snacks".

   Nothing worse than getting drunk and slipping and falling into a relationship.

   Most problems can be solved with Nudity

   Majority of people prepared to die for their rights are also willing to lie to avoid their responsibilities.

   I'm pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison

   You can't trust anybody with the remote control these days

   Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya.

   When I hear the phrase 'going viral' I automatically assume herpes is involved at some point.