BEGO Funny Status Messages

   I don't think I've ever been told I'm a bad listener.

   I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I was going, Officer.

   I am actually quite pleasant until I'm awake.

   Dear Phone, Maybe if you didn`t light up so many damn times telling me you had a low battery, you wouldn`t have died so damn quickly!

   Man with one foot on 'yesterday' and one foot on 'tomorrow' will end up pissing on 'today'.

   If the government fails to raise the debt ceiling and stops paying their bills, I will stop paying mine, fair is fair

   If two past lovers remain friends, it`s either someone is still in love, or someone is still hoping for a second chance.

   You say you hate him but you constantly think of him, re-read his messages & check his FB profile.

   Love is not about how much you say "I love you", but how much you can prove that it's true.

   Why does everyone say my name like it means “Shut Up”?

   My doctor e-mailed me asking if I knew my “blod group”. I replied, “typo.”

   Open Google Maps (Get Directions) 2: Type China as your starting point 3: Type Taiwan as your destination. 4: Read step 48

   Today someone asked me how I would react if someone jumped off a bridge. I laughed and said,"depends on who it is that jumped!!"

   I must say you really have an open mind. And a mouth to match

   Life gets a lot easier once you decide to become part of the problem.

   there a national do-not-call list for friends and family yet?

   If all men are the same, why do women take so long to choose one ?

   Prvo me upoznaj pa mi onda sudi, a ne po tome što pričaju ljudi ! :)

   I don't need damn a brain, I have google.

   The later it gets at night, the funnier everything is. When you're laughing at nothing...it's time to go to bed.