thejoke.cafe Funny Status Messages

   Cheer Up Hillary Clinton. Nelson Mandela wasn’t elected president, until after serving 27 years in prison.

   What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig ? The letter F ?

   I can't believe so many Americans from the Bible Belt plan to vote for Trump. If he gets to build his wall, he'll be keeping Jesus out of the country.

   I heard a rumour Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary. It seems the last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth.

   Sticker given to Trump supporters at the polls: "I Voted" Sticker given to Hillary supporters at the polls: "I Rigged"

   Clinton vs Trump. Whoever wins, We lose.

   ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK

   Thank God the American Elections are over. Now the rest of the world can go back to hating their own politicians.

   Hillary and Trump are in a boat and it sinks. Who survives? I'd say Hillary. According to Bill, she never goes down.

   Congratulations to Marijuana for winning more states than Hillary .

   Kanye West 'hospitalised in Los Angeles'. Our thoughts and prayers go out at this difficult time to the hospital staff.

   Kanye West is said to be recovering well in hospital after an 8 hour operation to remove his head from his ass.

   Black Friday: Because only in America, people trample ovee others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.

   What is the biggest city in America ? Obesity.

   Does anybody know how to disable the autocorrect feature on my wife ?

   Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Take Beethoven for example, they told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf... but he didn't listen.

   Carrie Fisher was found unconscious by a relative,who tried to revive her with chest compressions. Unfortunately, the force wasn't strong enough.

   My New Years resolution is simple…. Remember to write 2017 instead of 2016

   My New Year’s resolution is to save enough to buy a Velcro wall. And I plan on sticking to it.

   I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.