jcgj Funny Status Messages

   Does anyone know where I can get more Lite-Brite pegs?... I'm trying to finish my Will and Testament.

   The “thank you wave”👋🏼 after letting someone merge their car in front of yours is the one thing holding this fragile society together.

   I miss the days when people’s biggest concern was Marilyn Manson.

   🎶 I got in one little fight and my mum got scared, 🎶 she said You can't slap Chris Rock because your wife has no hair.

   Ah, Easter. That lovely time of year that reminds you to take down the Christmas decorations.

   Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho! It's off to sleep I go. I'll crawl in bed and rest my head. Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho!

   We used to be young and carefree, and now we have a favorite cashier at the grocery store.

   Word on the street is, Cookie Monster has tested positive for COVID. It's the Om nom nom nomicron variant.

   In other news… Elon Musk is now going to also buy McDonald's so he can fix all the ice cream machines.

   Strong with this fourth day of may, the force is — Yoda

   With you, may the fourth be — Yoda

   Maaaaay The 4th Be With You

   Don't honk at me asshole, I'm not on my phone. I missed the light change because I was trying to get that last french fry at the bottom of the box. 🍟 😒

   I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss. 😁

   Lotto Max is up to a full tank of gas and a buggy load of groceries.

   How am I supposed to explain Daylight Savings Time to my neighbors dog?

   I swear I can feel my brain buffering.

   Beedo Boop Bop Beeda Beep Boop Lop Bleeda Bee eezz ... you've got mail !!

   Boop Bop Beeda Beep Boop Lop Bee eezz ... YOU'VE GOT MAIL !! 📭😁

   20 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Jonny Cash – Now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.