Wolf Funny Status Messages

    Egyptian Pres. Mubarak finaly steps down. I think he was in denial--which coincidentally is where his body will be found if he doesn't move far far away..

   Next time someone tells you that you look familiar,tell them you wore a condom!

   Just think, the one for you is walking the earth right now! Probably in a Wall-Mart somewhere!

   Where's Kanye West when you need him..

   Whoa, this weather is bringing out everything.. Theirs some old people out driving right now and don't even know it..

   Then the psychiatrist's gave me the good news: I was going to have a disorder named after me..

   If I were you, I'd get a helmet and some crayon's and call it a day..

   Be sure to drink your Charliesheen!

   Hey Obama, I could really use that "change" right now! I'm at the gas pump and could really use some extra quarters!!

   I walk light so I don't piss the ground off..

   The world needs a hero, I'll go change my clothes..

   Gas stations need to have a happy hour..

   Live,Laugh, Love if that doesn't work- Raise, Aim and Fire..

   I've been calling this random number asking for John all day with diffrent voices.. When I get home I'm going to call him back and say "this is John, do I have any messages"..

   If the government would charge a 3% stupidity tax, they could pay off the national debt in no time..

   Dear Mother Nature, I know you've been on the rag lately, but who lit the fuse on your tampon?!?!

   Monica Lewinsky turned 46. Seems like yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees..

   You know why they call it golf? Cause all the other four letter words were taken!!

   Sh!t it's raining, f*ck it's lightning, dammit thunder, just cussing up a storm over here..

   The only Royal Crown I'm interested in at 4am is some Crown Royal..