Oregon Funny Status Messages

   Woke up this morning from a dream I was flying. Late to work kind of wished that whole flying thing was true

   When it's raining I don't work, when its sunny I don't work, when its cloudy I call in sick!

   Are you worried your not getting any phone calls? #1 Place cell Phone on silent. #2 Wait about 1 hour you should get at least 10 missed calls. #3 For the heck of it now turn volume to loudest

   I always start my day off with SNAP, CRACKLE, POP

   If our Government shuts down how much Electricity will we save?

   Personal Foul......Holding.......and Unsportsmanlike Conduct Sorry I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."

   There is a new Flu Shot for the Window 8 computers

   Just anounced if you own a MAC you can now access the Obamacare website

   Some days for me it's like I start off making an omelette but in the end it all ends up scrambled eggs......

   People that look through other peoples medicine cabinets? WEIRD!~~ I would like to look through their fridge.

   I am convinced that Kellogg's works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......

   The moon is so red tonight......oh wait my eyes are just blood shot....

   Easter this Sunday....The one day where I can say "I am putting all my EGGS in one basket!

   I will put my phone down when you put yours down....Ready set.....Wait Someone is calling

   Hey let me give a gift that will take a week to put together. I have included the manual and a DVD....Have Fun

   To see my family over the holidays I have an appointment book. Just so there is no fender benders.......

   I miss the old days when everyone had the same RING tone.

   I have the new Weight Watchers fridge...At midnight my fridge no longer lights up inside. My Flashlight is also out of batteries!~~THE END TO MIDNIGHT SNACKS!~

   Do you think America will get so LAZY that we will have "Spray on pants."

   BORED so Pretending to water my fake plants.....