Missy Funny Status Messages

   "I LOVE getting up this early!" - Nobody

   Got fired from my job as a bingo caller... apparently "A meal for two with a terrible view" was a pathetic way to announce the number 69.

   I am willing to promise my kids anything just so they go away for a while. I learned that trick from the government.

   If I had a cooking show, it would be called Do You Smell Something Burning?

   Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes sex drive by 95% - it's called Wedding Cake

   You can always tell if a guy masturbates a lot by looking at his hands. If you look closely, you'll see a wedding ring.

   Pregnancy- The number 1 cause of arranged marriages

   Relationships are for two people, but some people just don't know how to count...

   Our society views heroine and alcohol overdose as a tragic accident, I call that suicide accomplished...